Author: Amber French
I always hit a point in my health journey where I get really good at setting up road blocks for myself. It is usually right before I get to a goal I have set for myself. The closer I get to my intention the more roadblocks I encounter. It’s like I am sleep-building and in the morning I awake to see all these obstacles in my way. I get super mad at the jerk that is blocking my good intention. News Flash: I am the Jerk…
I have NEVER reached a goal weight or timed run or dress size at the time I set for myself to achieve it. Although I have lost a ton of weight over my life and achieved a lot of great fitness goals, it is never when I planned to do it. I used to believe that was ok and that I need to relax and it wasn’t all about the goal/outcome, it was about the journey. TRUE…BUT…. It was also a damn good excuse for not recognizing that I was sabotaging myself. If I I get to close to a goal, all of a sudden I split into two people. One of which has the full time job of setting obstacles and triggers to throw me off my game.
And let me tell you she is GREAT at her job.
Until I learned to start listening to my inner dialogue (and correcting it) I couldn’t defeat my arch nemesis. Who truly believed I wasn’t worthy/good/loved enough to be that weight/size/fast. Once I realized “the Jerk” was my own insecurities I could finally invite her to tea and discuss those feelings and maybe persuade her to allow me to reach my goal. I did this by contracting each of her negative (untrue) thoughts with one of my own positive (proven) thoughts.
It went a little something like this:
Jerk: You aren’t a fit/skinny person and you never will be…
Me: Well actually I have dropped four dress sizes already and ran my first triathlon
Jerk: Who do you think you are?
Me: I am the person who put in all the time, menu planning and consistently hit the gym throughout my journey.
Jerk: You missed three workouts last week, you don’t deserve to lose any weight this week.
Me: I made it to two workouts last week and I had time to clean out the garage and take the kids tobogganing. That is a fair trade off and a great calorie burn.
Jerk: People are going to think you are selfish for taking all this time to “take care of yourself”
Me: What People?
Finally my inner voice got very tired because of course she didn’t have the stamina (of someone who works out and watches what she eats) to let this battle continue any longer. Would you let your friends speak to you, the way you speak to yourself?
The next day I woke up and my path was clear(er) and I had far fewer roadblocks in way. Now when I see the roadblocks that show up as “no time” “too tired” “kids first” or “one bag won’t hurt you” I turn my kettle on and invite my much kinder inner voice to have a little chat about ways we can help each other and remove some of these roadblocks out of OUR way. After all, if they are roadblocks for me, they are roadblocks for her too.
If you wouldn’t say it to your Grandma or your pooch, don’t say it to yourself! Be kind with your inside voice as well as your outside voice!