Author: Lindsay Hogg
Keep, Stop, Start
I learned this technique at my Art of Assisting course (to become a yoga assist with Power Yoga Canada). It really comes in handy in all places in life, especially where you might find it hard to say what you need to say to someone.
You’re not helping anyone by telling them they are doing a great job when there are some aspects that really need to be worked on. By doing this, you’re keeping them stuck, unable to grow. Not speaking up or telling someone the truth about their performance is often the result of a fear of being the bad guy or having someone dislike you.
I know this because I used to have the same fear.
At first I was intimidated by how truthful the conversations were at this Art of Assisting training. But after a few attempts of speaking honestly and no one hating me, I realized how powerful and constructive it is to not hold back because of fear.
So whether you need to give a fellow employee feedback or speak up to a friend/family member, you can enter that conversation confident and prepared.
We like to call this simple tool, “The Shit Sandwich”. Why? Because although I don’t like to think of the center of this tool as ‘negative’, it is definitely the harder part of the conversation.
In your sandwich you’re going to have something for your recipient to keep. This is reaffirming something you like about them or something they are doing well.
Next, you will get to the inside of your sandwich (the shit), where you explain to your recipient what you believe they need to stop. Make sure this is something that will be beneficial to this person and be specific!
Lastly, the bottom of your sandwich, you will share something for this person to start. This is the more fluffy part, lifting back up your recipients spirits after the core of the sandwich (which is sometimes the only reason you make the sandwich in the first place).
Try it a few times and you will feel the weight rise off your shoulders as well.
use this technique when I’m having trouble speaking my mind to anyone in my life. I used it quite a few times with an old boyfriend and he really responded well to it.