I had a very enlightening talk with a super enlightened person today.
I was talking about food (because that is my thing). I was talking about how I was disappointed that I struggled with over eating over the holidays. I wasn’t disappointed that I enjoyed foods that I don’t normally indulge in throughout the year. I was disappointed in what I ate in-and-around the parties, family gatherings and festive dinners. Basically, I was disappointed that I fell back into my usual routine of “I over ate??? Why not have some more!!”
As we were talking about the story I created about not being able to go off routine or I fall apart, she asked me what would be different if I lost the weight and never struggled with it again….
Now for most of my clients the answer on the first day of a new routine would be EVERYTHING and there answer on the last day of a new routine would be EVERYTHING. My clothes would be awesome, my personality would be sparkling, the PTA mom’s would love me, my husband and I would have sex every night, my IQ would increase by 50 points and my teeth would become straight and white over night.
If you are an industry insider you do see some massive life changes (notice I said LIFE changes not personality changes). When people lose a significant amount of weight some get divorced, some get a new job/promotion, some have significant others that leave because they cant keep up with the “new” you. Some have family members whose sabotage/jealousy rivals a high school clique in a romantic comedy!
Good or bad?
While as my enlightened friend so eloquently pointed out NEITHER. we are the SAME person on the inside at 150lbs as we are at 250Lbs. So why do some svelte beauties seemingly get the Happily-Ever-After to match there new trim waist line? For the same reason some find themselves recreating their whole lives after everything else has fallen apart?
Their story or inner dialogue has changed, not their personality or appeal. They could have joined that new book club with the cute guys that asked for their phone number without losing the weight, or they could have become more assertive at work and earned a new promotion in their size 14’s as easily as they could in their size 6’s. It’s what we tell ourselves after we lose the weight that changes, not who we are as people.
We are more confident, outgoing, willing to try new things and meet new people AFTER we have lost weight and the new byproducts of our new attitude (new friends, better opportunities) we chalk up to our new weight loss.
So how about this. if we are not quite at our new goals or have yet to reach our New Year’s resolutions, lets start acting like we have.
Lets reap the rewards of a kinder inner dialogue now.
Not only will we broaden our circle of friends/opportunities/bank accounts, I am fairly certain that those last stubborn ten pounds will release themselves never to return. or maybe we will be so damn happy we just wont give a crap about them.
Chew on that,
About the Author: Amber has been in the fitness and recreation game for over 15 years (not including school!!). She made fitness her life because as the age old saying goes, study and teach what it is you need to learn. In other words, she’s battles with some weight issues for many years and wants to share what she has learned along the way.
You can follow her @TheVeganHouse