Mind & Soul

Posted: Lindsay Hogg

We judge ourselves and each other, but we are so different and we are all human. Our bodies are vast in shape, size and form. I don’t 100% agree that our bodies shouldn’t be as they say in this video, “up for discussion”. I believe our bodies should be up for discussion in a positive way through acceptance and love. What shouldn’t be up for discussion is the judgement we or others place on our bodies.

Take a look and let me know what you think.

If you want to see the male version of this video, Things Men Are Tired Of Hearing About Their Bodies, click here! 

I had a very enlightening talk with a super enlightened person today.

I was talking about food (because that is my thing). I was talking about how I was disappointed that I struggled with over eating over the holidays. I wasn’t disappointed that I enjoyed foods that I don’t normally indulge in throughout the year. I was disappointed in what I ate in-and-around the parties, family gatherings and festive dinners. Basically, I was disappointed that I fell back into my usual routine of “I over ate??? Why not have some more!!”

As we were talking about the story I created about not being able to go off routine or I fall apart, she asked me what would be different if I lost the weight and never struggled with it again….

Now for most of my clients the answer on the first day of a new routine would be EVERYTHING and there answer on the last day of a new routine would be EVERYTHING. My clothes would be awesome, my personality would be sparkling, the PTA mom’s would love me, my husband and I would have sex every night, my IQ would increase by 50 points and my teeth would become straight and white over night.

If you are an industry insider you do see some massive life changes (notice I said LIFE changes not personality changes). When people lose a significant amount of weight some get divorced, some get a new job/promotion, some have significant others that leave because they cant keep up with the “new” you. Some have family members whose sabotage/jealousy rivals a high school clique in a romantic comedy!

Good or bad?

While as my enlightened friend so eloquently pointed out NEITHER. we are the SAME person on the inside at 150lbs as we are at 250Lbs. So why do some svelte beauties seemingly get the Happily-Ever-After to match there new trim waist line? For the same reason some find themselves recreating their whole lives after everything else has fallen apart?

Their story or inner dialogue has changed, not their personality or appeal. They could have joined that new book club with the cute guys that asked for their phone number without losing the weight, or they could have become more assertive at work and earned a new promotion in their size 14’s as easily as they could in their size 6’s. It’s what we tell ourselves after we lose the weight that changes, not who we are as people.

We are more confident, outgoing, willing to try new things and meet new people AFTER we have lost weight and the new byproducts of our new attitude (new friends, better opportunities) we chalk up to our new weight loss.

So how about this. if we are not quite at our new goals or have yet to reach our New Year’s resolutions, lets start acting like we have.

Lets reap the rewards of a kinder inner dialogue now.

Not only will we broaden our circle of friends/opportunities/bank accounts, I am fairly certain that those last stubborn ten pounds will release themselves never to return. or maybe we will be so damn happy we just wont give a crap about them.

Chew on that,
Amber

About the Author: Amber has been in the fitness and recreation game for over 15 years (not including school!!). She made fitness her life because as the age old saying goes, study and teach what it is you need to learn. In other words, she’s battles with some weight issues for many years and wants to share what she has learned along the way.

You can follow her @TheVeganHouse

Author: Amber French

I have three children, two of which are girls.

We as women beat ourselves up about our weight and appearance and then we as mothers turn around and beat ourselves up about the role model we are setting for our children around food/healthy lifestyle.

I have thought about this a lot and have seen it handled in many ways. I see the women who openly complain about their appearance (especially weight) in front of their daughters. I see women who act like their appearance/health doesn’t matter at all in front of their children. AND, I see many women who ride with one foot in each camp. Honestly, I don’t know who’s got it right or if any of us do.

But, what I do know is that ignoring it completely IS NOT the answer. I have heard people say that we should never address a child’s weight. As a formerly overweight child, I think that is the most dangerous piece of advice I have ever heard. We don’t put our heads in the sand when it comes to safe sex, smoking or drugs with our children. We can’t do this with obesity and unhealthy lifestyle issues.

Why would we ignore something that can cause heart disease, diabetes, suicide, depression, stroke, and a whole host of other “ailments”? We wouldn’t if society could see it as a worthy issue and not just an inability to “control” ourselves.

As long as healthy eating and physical activity is the topic of discussion with your kids, along with the ramifications of unhealthy eating AND as long as we are not just focusing on a specific dress size or reminding our children “what a BIG girl you are” (oh how I loved that one, like I didn’t know!!!!) then how can that be wrong???
We cannot be afraid to have these talks with our children, share our own struggles and triumphs and be open to learning together.

We can’t pretend that we have all the answers (because most of us don’t) and leave our children feeling inadequate for not being able to make smart choices “naturally”. We can’t pretend the problem doesn’t exist, because it does. We can’t wait until we have conquered our own food demons to be equipped to help our children.

With childhood diabetes on the rise and incidences of heart disease and obesity in our children, we have to start “having the talk”. They may think you are questioning their appearance and get mad (I know I would have as a teen) but since when do we not talk to our children because it might upset them???

We need to talk to all of our children about healthy eating and the struggles that come with it. Please don’t presume that this goes just for the “chubby” girls and boys, talk to your “skinny” children. Those kids may be just as at risk as our “bigger” kids because the processed food we eat now a days is so void of nutrition that our kids struggle to stay awake in class, have energy to get through the day or stave off every cold that comes their way.

We need to talk and share and learn from our kids. Invite them into the kitchen and into the grocery store. Ask for their advice on healthy eating and get moving as a family.

Healthy children don’t make themselves and unhealthy adults can learn a lot by dropping the fear and opening up those conversations….

Be brave and be strong your children deserve it.

With kindness,

Amber

About the Author: Amber has been in the fitness and recreation game for over 15 years (not including school!!). She made fitness her life because as the age old saying goes, study and teach what it is you need to learn. In other words, she’s battles with some weight issues for many years and wants to share what she has learned along the way.

You can follow her @TheVeganHouse