Author: Ann O’Brien
From the time I was 10 years old I have struggled with my weight. My story is typical, tried the diets, the exercises, all the usual stuff you hear from people who talk about their journey in weight loss. And like the common story, it didn’t last. I couldn’t stick with it, there was always something that would come up, a party, a holiday, a major life event and I would fall apart, lose my good intention and go back into my old habits. The pounds would come back and the self loathing would begin.
When I started working with Reiki things began to get clear. When I connected to myself through reiki energy I started to see how I was showing up for myself mentally. Particularly when it came to my physical body. I realized that I was so disconnected from my body that I actually viewed it as completely separate from myself. I was in a perceived fight with my body and treating it like it was something that needed to be punished because it wouldn’t do what I wanted it to.
When I began meditation, transformational yoga and reiki practice, I got really clear on where my extra weight had come from and why I was still holding on to it. My relationships through out my life were unhealthy and mentally abusive and my reaction to that was to create a barrier around myself rather then fully deal with these situations, clearing them, forgiving myself and those involved and letting them go. My being overweight was related to a story I had created about myself that I needed to protect myself with this physical barrier to keep people from getting to know me fully because
I’ve carried around a fear of being hurt.So how could I possibly stick with a diet, with exercise when I inherently believed I didn’t deserve to treat myself well and that this weight I carried was my way of protecting myself. The root of this journey for me was that in order for me truly be healthy, I needed to accept my body and to forgive and let go of my past. To say, my body is beautiful. That my body is great because it supports me in all the things I want to do. To forgive myself every time I had the thoughts that were hurtful towards me and my body. To know that my body and my spirit are fully connected to each other and it makes up the whole person that is me.
The point of it all was that I needed to change my energy around my weight and why I was holding on to it. It didn’t matter how much I dieted, how long I exercised for, if I ate or didn’t. I needed to heal how I felt about myself. Through transformational work, reiki treatments focused on the energy directly related to my digestion and personal power. Using healing affirmations like “I love my body and all the things it does for me right now.” “I honour and accept myself just as I am” “I am beautiful.” and so on. I wrote post it notes saying nice things like “you deserve to be healthy” “You nourish yourself with good food” “You are safe and protected. You can release your weight, it’s no longer needed to protect you.” and leave them up in places I would see them as reminders of what I needed to know. I would use the gift of reiki and treat myself and even reiki my water and fill it with positive loving energy. I meditate, focused on my heart and I say to myself, “I love myself right now, exactly as I am.”
As of right now, I feel the healthiest I’ve ever been. The weight is falling off which is funny because this is the first time in my life I haven’t been focused on losing weight. I’m focused on being healthy, nourishing myself and treating my whole self really well. That includes having the occasional piece of pizza and indulging in a delicious piece of chocolate cake. And it includes green juice, amazing smoothies, properly portioned meals that are full of life giving nutrients and that support my energy. And lots and lots of yoga! So please, stop fighting your body! Start loving it. Listening to it. Connecting with it. Figuring out your relationship with your body and where you can love it more will be your first step in journey to great health.